Hassling Me

My baby said, Now listen  dear,
I’ve just been down to Ikea
And picked us out a brand new leather suite,
I think it’s time you married me,
we’ll spend our nights on the leather setee,
Have a couple of kids playing at our feet.
I said, I’ve always fancied the leather scene,
But I guess bondage aint what you mean,
 And she shot me with a look of such distaste.
Well I’m not one for settling down,
While there’s still time to paint to town,
And she kept that expression on her face.

I said, stop you’re hassling me.
 I just want to be free,
Baby can’t you see? 
Stop…
You’re hassling me.

There was a knocking at the door,
 So  I opened it up for the world to pour,
But all I got was this smarmy, charmy guy.
He said he came from Powergen, with his clipboard and his pen,
Recommended that I change my supply.
Well he was caller number twenty-four, so I went to close the door,
But he would not take no for a reply;
Started going on about the standing charge, cost per unit and the world at large,
And the my patience started to dry.

I said stop you’re hassling me. 
I just want to be free.
Screw your utility.
Stop…
You’re hassling me.

So the cupboard was empty and I needed food,
So I stepped into my neighbourhood,
To pick up a little something for my tea,
When this man approached said;
 Do you wanna get high?
I said not today I’m just out to buy ,
  A few essential groceries.
Well he got mean and he got mad,
Said I’d better buy the stuff he had,
Or hospital food is all that I would eat.
So I tried to make my getaway,
But his persistence would not sway,
And he started chasing me all down the street.

I said, stop you’re hassling me,
I just want to be free,
Don’t need no dope, no ecstasy,
  Stop…
You’re hassling me.

Well the day  I died, I have to tell,
They sent my soul straight down to hell,
And satan well he met me with a grin.
I said there must be some mistake
And climbed up to those pearly gates,
And begged of  St Peter to let me in.
He said, sorry son ;your life was bad,
Be on your way and I’ll be glad
If you don’t bother us again in paradise.
So I threw god’s bouncer my meekest glance,
Said come on mate, give me a chance,
Let me in I promise to be nice.
  But he said...

Stop, you’re hassling me,
 I just want to be free,
And god’s gave his decree,
 Stop…
You’re hassling me.
Stop, your hassling me.
Stop, Your hassling me….maaan!

_

© R.Myers